Don’t assume!

Don’t assume!

Last week I wrote an article for Act Like A Man called, “How Not To Be A Jerk!!!” (Thanks Pastor Dennis for the catchy title :p) I was surprised at the response it generated so I decided to write a follow up. This time, it’s for the ladies! πŸ˜€

Okay, so we often hear the ever famous “Don’t assume” advice. What does it mean? Ladies, I believe with all conviction that this all boils down to a heart issue, and knowing who we are in the Lord! Jerks won’t exist if we don’t contribute to the situation!!! Know full well that you are fearfully, and wonderfully made, and praise Him for that (Psalm 139:14)! One thing I have learned, the Lord doesn’t create junk (click and watch this)!

Granted that we cannot assume, we can definitely use WISDOM in how we relate with men! We are at liberty to put boundaries in our friendships with them. You have to get this down with God, and be intentional with it. Basically, you have to watch out for things that stir you up emotionally! Maybe it’s talking for hours on the phone or texting everyday, spending time alone, etc. These are just examples coz I don’t know you, and everyone is different, but get this: Define your triggers, and set your boundaries.

Emotional purity is serious! You don’t want to latch yourself on emotionally from guy to guy!! As my older sister, Dana, says, “you don’t want to lead yourself on when you are not ready for a relationship that can potentially lead to marriage!” Much worse, lead yourself on when the guy hasn’t even said anything! You don’t even know if he likes you, or if he does, likes you enough to pursue you! That is really, really sad. You are so special, and so much more than that.

Just as men are to treat women as sisters, ladies, may I please submit to you the importance of treating men as brothers? Let’s be wise as serpents yet gentle as doves (Matthew 10:16). Let’s be prudent, having knowledge and discretion (Proverbs 8:12).

Knowing who we are will lay down the groundwork for boundaries. This world has thrown many definitions about who we are, but it is the Lord’s Word that must define us– not our pride, career, relationships, etc. Having boundaries is saying, “I know Who I am—my value, my worth–I know how I should be treated, and how I should treat others.” This is how we guard our hearts.

Helpful link:

Who Does God Say That I Am?

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42 thoughts on “Don’t assume!

  1. “Having boundaries is saying, β€œI know Who I amβ€”my value, my worth–I know how I should be treated, and how I should treat others.””

    Very well said. Thanks for this! It’s such an encouraging read. πŸ™‚

  2. As a sibling to two brothers, I can totally relate to this. The sad truth is there are too many women out there who do not have a high enough regard for themselves and fall prey to kindness and gentleness from guys, misconstruing this as a sign that guys MUST like them. Also, there are many men out there who are all too willing to play with the feelings of these women instead of treating them like men called by God to protect and respect them.

  3. Sonj! This is so inspiring. Make more. Your About Me is so nice. I remember before when we were younger, how much you wanted to act. Now eto na, I see you everywhere haha. I followed your blog na, para I’m updated. Nothing compares talaga with Jesus’ love. THE BEST!

  4. Let’s be wise as serpents yet gentle as doves (Matthew 10:16). Let’s be prudent, having knowledge and discretion (Proverbs 8:12).

    Knowing who we are will lay down the groundwork for boundaries. This world has thrown many definitions about who we are, but it is the Lord’s Word that must define us– not our pride, career, relationships, etc. Having boundaries is saying, β€œI know Who I amβ€”my value, my worth–I know how I should be treated, and how I should treat others.” This is how we guard our hearts. — Agree πŸ™‚

      1. Thank you!
        Most of the time really, you just listen to your “heart” though it isn’t exactly the right organ to ask about these things since it has a strong tendency to “deny” the truth. It’s just emotions sometimes really. We fail to consult and realize later on that relationships are way more than the butterflies.

      2. Yes, that’s why the bible is so clear to tell us to:

        Above all else, GUARD your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

        and that

        The heart is DECEITFUL above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? -Jeremiah 17:9

  5. hello. i found this through someone’s tweet. this is very nice advice. along the lines of Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye. πŸ™‚

    however i have another concern. kunyari advice column ‘to hehehe. I’m new to this biblical life. so my concern is… what if you didn’t assume. but you met this guy. na kahit wala namang ginagawa e… you know. and then you become friends. but it’s not as if he distracts you from God. he was the one who introduced to you the Christian life.

    how does one deal with something like that? if you don’t mind hehehe, πŸ™‚

    1. First of all, I am delighted to hear about your new relationship with God! AWESOME! About your question… here’s my, maybe unpopular answer:
      Personally, I think God as to be all of THAT in your heart first. I think it’s not wise to entertain anything and build anything with anyone while you are new in the Lord. ANg dami daming gusto i-reveal sayo ni Lord na kayo lang muna, so ENJOY this time and let Him be the ultimate leading man in your life! πŸ™‚ Build on your strong foundation first, which is Christ πŸ™‚ God bless you, and keep your guards up!

      1. Yes, I was expecting a response akin to this post hehehe. Thank you for this! πŸ˜€ I am indeed excited to get to know the Lord. πŸ™‚

  6. Hello! Thank you for this blog! I’m kind of in a situation where I assumed (but I’m almost over it because of God :D) and this made me realize some things. This blog of yours is really helpful and inspiring. Thank you! :’)

  7. I think, I’m the first guy who made a comment on this post… (or did I assume?)

    Anyways, this gave me (or us guys) a better perspective on how women think in terms of relating to men. You have some very interesting discussions. πŸ™‚

    I’m looking forward to read more of your articles.

    God bless!

    1. Haha! Awesome! God bless you too! πŸ™‚

      –If you haven’t already, you may e interested in reading How not to be a jerk, which is linked on this article as well πŸ™‚

  8. “This world has thrown many definitions about who we are, but it is Lord’s Word that must define us.” well said πŸ˜€ btw the article you wrote in ActLikeAMan.org is one of the main reason i got interested in blogging, love that site.hehe πŸ™‚

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