Last week I wrote an article for Act Like A Man called, “How Not To Be A Jerk!!!” (Thanks Pastor Dennis for the catchy title :p) I was surprised at the response it generated so I decided to write a follow up. This time, it’s for the ladies! 😀
Okay, so we often hear the ever famous “Don’t assume” advice. What does it mean? Ladies, I believe with all conviction that this all boils down to a heart issue, and knowing who we are in the Lord! Jerks won’t exist if we don’t contribute to the situation!!! Know full well that you are fearfully, and wonderfully made, and praise Him for that (Psalm 139:14)! One thing I have learned, the Lord doesn’t create junk (click and watch this)!
Granted that we cannot assume, we can definitely use WISDOM in how we relate with men! We are at liberty to put boundaries in our friendships with them. You have to get this down with God, and be intentional with it. Basically, you have to watch out for things that stir you up emotionally! Maybe it’s talking for hours on the phone or texting everyday, spending time alone, etc. These are just examples coz I don’t know you, and everyone is different, but get this: Define your triggers, and set your boundaries.
Emotional purity is serious! You don’t want to latch yourself on emotionally from guy to guy!! As my older sister, Dana, says, “you don’t want to lead yourself on when you are not ready for a relationship that can potentially lead to marriage!” Much worse, lead yourself on when the guy hasn’t even said anything! You don’t even know if he likes you, or if he does, likes you enough to pursue you! That is really, really sad. You are so special, and so much more than that.
Just as men are to treat women as sisters, ladies, may I please submit to you the importance of treating men as brothers? Let’s be wise as serpents yet gentle as doves (Matthew 10:16). Let’s be prudent, having knowledge and discretion (Proverbs 8:12).
Knowing who we are will lay down the groundwork for boundaries. This world has thrown many definitions about who we are, but it is the Lord’s Word that must define us– not our pride, career, relationships, etc. Having boundaries is saying, “I know Who I am—my value, my worth–I know how I should be treated, and how I should treat others.” This is how we guard our hearts.