Recently, I have received a few messages asking similar questions, so I have decided to write this in the hopes of answering them all at once 🙂 ha! The questions have looked like these:
What if you don’t assume but you meet this guy na kahit wala namang ginagawa e… I don’t know…
I really like him, and we’ve been great friends but just recently I’ve noticed a change in the way he treats me. We used to spend a lot of time together but now, even in the presence of our friends, he rarely speaks to me or notices me… What’s up with that? Should I subtly encourage him to pursue me or should I just let it go? He has all the qualities I’ve been praying for… We are both students.
He is my friend, and he treats me in a ‘special’ way, and even talks to me in a ‘special’ way… I think I may be ‘falling’ for him, but I don’t know…
What do I do?
1) You’ve said it yourself: You don’t know. Quite frankly, it’s not your business to know, unless he tells you along with a plan to back it up. Stop putting your energy on wondering whether he likes you or not, or why he’s doing certain things, or not doing things he used to. That’s his deal, not yours. It will only make you go crazy! It will do you a lot of good, more than you know, to simply set your mind on things above… (Colossians 3:2). Rather than asking for God to reveal to you if this guy likes you, ask God what His purpose is for you right now, and ask for His grace so you can live it out today.
2) Seriously, if he REALLY likes you, He WILL pursue you, no matter the circumstance! I have my dad, and quite a few guy friends who can prove that true! Some won the girl, some weren’t successful, but the point is, they pursued! IF this guy, IF, indeed he likes you and is only making “pa-cute,” he’s really not that into you. He needs to grow up, and you need to get a hold of yourself. A wise guy who loves the Lord, who likes you but know it’s not yet time, won’t even give you a hint of “pa-cute” moves, especially if he’s still a student! If this guy is someone whom you say have the qualities you’re praying for, then, really? I admonish you, in love, to reevaluate. As David Bonifacio tweets, “Fall for pa-cute, live with pa-cute.”
3) Okay, you don’t want to assume. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt. You don’t want to give meaning to that “You’re awesome” text message, or why he’s asking you what your dream wedding is like, or that surprise visit to where you work, etc. This is where boundaries are so important. You won’t even get to a place like this if you know your triggers and know what to do with them. An example is, if it’s texting and you’re getting confused with what he says, then limit the things you talk about with this person, or limit the amount of time you spend texting/communicating with him, etc. Boundaries will help keep you sane, and from trying to read into his words/actions. While you can’t control what he says or does, you certainly can take charge of your own emotions and responses, by God’s grace. To read more on boundaries, click here.
4) Don’t strive. The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it (Proverbs 10:22). If this is really of the Lord, it will come to pass, according to His good, pleasing, and perfect will, with the perfect timing. Surrender this fully to the Lord, without holding anything back. Let it go, and drop it. If you’re called for marriage, I won’t tell you you’re hallucinating. I’m just saying, lay this down before the Lord and stay obedient to Him daily! When you are walking with the Lord step by step, He will lead you there with no trouble, amidst challenges. Enjoy what you have NOW with Him. Don’t miss out on what He’s doing because you’re so focused on something that may not be part of His plan for you today. Relinquish control, and let the sovereign, and best Writer plot out the perfect love story for you!
“If something in your life is falling apart, it is not in Christ. In Christ you are complete.” –Perry Noble (Colossians 1:17)